How to ride a bus while stoned.

The nice side of mean

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:45:09 GMT

I know I keep saying that honesty is important. Although its good to know when to keep silent.
However, I find that people are generally too nice to each other.
It sounds good from the outside, living in a "nice" society...
Yet we can't improve if things are sugar coated and set up to accommodate.

For example:
Today in class we had to do a peer-edit of our essays.
This means we have to swap papers and have somebody else check for mistakes and quality.
I really enjoy this task as it helps me better understand what my peers are writing about and I like editing writing... I LOVE reading other people's writing.
So this one guy totally did everything wrong. Bad sentence structure, horrid grammar, and he put his thesis at the END (which is a big no-no in post secondary, nobody wants to guess what you're writing about). My god, it was a disaster, and really fun!
Anywho, I get my essay back (it was edited by 2 people) and there is literally NO corrections or suggestions. No grammar errors noted (except that I started a sentence with "because", which IS allowable - but nobody really knows that its ok [high-school teaches EVERYTHING WRONG]), there was no spelling errors, no inconsistencies - nothing!
Now, if I am to improve my writing I don't need to hear things like "very consistent" or "good thesis"; I want my paper ripped into and torn apart - sentence by sentence. Yet everybody is too nice to say anything bad.
This isn't the first time either.
The whole philosophy behind being honest to help one another ONLY works if we let go of that stupid saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". Fuck that.
Un-nice things must be said if any of us wants to improve.
Good thing I re-edited my own essay because I found 3 errors: an inconsistancy with a quote, a spelling mistake, and a source not cited.

fuck, its hot.

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 22:15:38 GMT

You know its fucking hot out when you go to buy a chocolate bar from the vending machine inside your air-conditioned school only to find that the chocolate bar is melted. I demand a refund!

mini wheats

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 18:16:18 GMT

You know what I hate about eating mini wheats, its that the second you put milk in the bowl its a race against time.
Otherwise, you end up with a bowl of soggy mush.

I hate speed eating but I love mini wheats.
damn!

Voices

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 19:53:24 GMT

It was said in my Philosophy and feminist thought course last night that women should write themselves into existence.
Also, considering the difference between liberal reform and change from within makes me rethink my situation.
I've been seeing the world through a feminist perspective.
Sometimes, I step on toes - I make women think about what they don't want to.
I disprove those with faulty patriarchal ideals (all you guys who think feminists are hairy lesbians - think again).
But I haven't given myself credit that this what I should be doing.
I figured I was just being a know-it-all kind of bitch rather than someone who is changing inside.
Its not just that, its also being able to speak up and let people know what I think.
So writing myself into existence seems to be a reality.
I suppose an amateur 3rd wave diy feminist like me has nowhere else to go.
Expect more bitchy posts in the future.

Oh, And I also took some nice photos this week. ~~winter~~ fall is amazing.

Pornography and Rape

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 00:14:46 GMT

We've all been given the advice that we need to stop rape, right?
Things like avoiding walking alone at night, avoiding poorly-lit areas, being told to carry mace around, and to avoid wearing anything that can be used to physically pull one away (ponytails, purses, bags, etc).
Never did it occur to me that this isn't the right way to stop rape.
In fact, the wrong audience is being held responsible for something that is out of their control.
Men should stop rape. Really.
I have one piece of advice for all men, something that can stop rape:
Keep your dick in your pants.

I don't mean to sound absolutely pessimistic about this.
But to put blame on a victim seems pretty wrong.

Its amazing how popular culture is now encorporating pornography in mainstream culture.
Like I said before, porn isn't quite what we think it is. Porn is not mere fantasy, its an idea laced in sexual desires, an idea that limits and damages people. Men and Women.

Gloria Steinem, a feminist icon, describes the difference between pornography and erotica: "Pornography is about dominance. Erotica is about mutuality. Pornography is the instruction. Rape is the practice, battered women are the practice, and battered children are the practice."

I'm not saying that pornography specifically causes violence against women, its not that simple. Pornography is laced with patriarchal dominance, it breeds "normality" and gives a very one-sided view of sex. However, pornography - in excess - has been corrolated with rape.

Canadian author Margaret Atwood graphically describes her views of Pornography:

[T]hen did it strike me that the male journalist and I had two entirely different things in mind. By "pornography," he meant naked bodies and sex. I, on the other hand, had recently been doing the research for my novel Bodily Harm, and was still in a state of shock from some of the material I had seen, including the Ontario Board of Film Censors' "outtakes." By "pornography," I meant women getting their nipples snipped off with garden shears, having meat hooks stuck into their vaginas, being disemboweled, little girls being raped; men (yes, there are some men) being smashed to a pulp and forcibly sodomized. The cutting edge of pornography, as far as I could see, was no longer simple old copulation, hanging from the chandelier or otherwise: it was death, messy, explicit and highly sadistic. I explained this to the nice Scandinavian men. "Oh, but thats just the United States," they said. "Everyone knows they're sick." In their country, they said, violent "pornography" of that kind was not permitted on television or in movies; indeed, excessive violence of any kind was not permitted. They had drawn a clean line between erotica, which earlier studies had shown did not incite men to a more aggressive and brutal behavior toward women, and violence, which later studies indicated did.

And for a tidbit of information regarding the word origin of pornography.
Porno comes from the greek word Porni which means lowest form of female slavery & prostitution.
Graphy means graphic.
Hmm... that explains a lot.

According to a study by Mary Koss and Cheryl Oros (1982:456) "One in five men in a representative survey of 3862 US university students recalled 'being in a situation in which they became so aroused that they could not stop themselves from having sexual intercourse even though the woman didn't want to.'" (Feminist Issues 131)

Jessica Valenti, a women's rights activist, describes rape as being something that the average man would commit, without realizing its an act of violence against women. "Its what scares me the most about rapists - they're otherwise regular guys, some of whom don't understand that what they've done is wrong, others of whom don't care. Young men in [North America] have been brought up to think they have open access to women's bodies and sexuality. Everything in American culture tells men that women are there for them, there for sex, constantly available. It breeds a society where rape is expected and practically okayed" (Full Frontal Feminism 62)

Now, enough of my feminist quotes to prove my point. Heres a video that describes the impact of over exposed female sexuality in music videos.

One of my favorite places

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 07:08:00 GMT

null

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 08:09:30 GMT

I had a wonderful day today.

...wonderful!

another year for me....

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 14:29:30 GMT

I forgot it was my birthday... and was worried.
but now that I know its my bday I'm pleased.
too bad I'm cranky and hungover.
:D

going "home"

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 15:00:50 GMT

Last night after I watched a south park episode on wal-mart, Tom and I did some reading into anti-union corporations (mcdonalds, walmart, starbucks etc).
Its really shocking what some companies will do to deter unionization.

When I was working at the [g]asstown starbucks, I told my manager that I wanted to transfer to a unionized starbucks.
She instantly told me that it was a bad move, that I would be making LESS than I did already. I was over the minimum wage line ($9.99/hour) so I really didn't care.
What I wanted was job security, freedom of expression, and advancement through senority.
I was tired of being so easily replacable, uniform, and lied to.
My request was denied. My requests for advancements denied.
I had to actually go to another store (powell drive thru) to get my promotion.
Then when I came back to my store I was not acknowledged for my promotion (if you work with one store and get promoted, you are assumed to be promoted at ALL other locations).
Thats when I walked out for a minimum wage- go nowhere career with chevron.
Although Chevron didn't offer much (no breaks, no benefits, $8/hour) I felt like I made the right choice.
Now that I am in college, I can see clearly that I made the right choice.
Chevron gave me time to go back to highschool (beleive me, working full time and going to school full time can be horribly stressful) and pursue my goals.
Most corporations say that they give flexibility for students, but what I experienced at mcdonalds and starbucks was that they didn't get me the "right" hours I needed to go back to school.
I was left working a $7/hour fast food job with no opportunities for growth or advancement (the best you could do at either company was be a store manager and still get paid nothing).
So I can say that I am very much avoiding companies like these.
In fact, last night I decided to beef up my resume so I can get a $12+/hour job.
Hopefully I can get a job that IS flexible because there is no way I'm quitting school now.

On another note, today I'm going back to East Van.
I'm quite excited.
East Van = Bons, photoadventures, Iron workers memorial bridge, and being able to go out late at night.
It has been too long for me.
Hopefully sometime in the future I can move back to Vancouver, I feel like I'm throwing away so many career opportunities living so far from the downtown core.
(that and I have a friend who works at a women's centre who said I should volunteer there with her [shes also a WSGR major])
I wish there were some real career opportunities HERE.

sexuality and gender

Fri, 30 May 2008 22:16:33 GMT

If you didn't know, I have been taking women's studies/gender relations at douglas.
this program has given me a new perspective on society, on my identity, on my philosphy on life.
It has been an eye opening experience.
However, I've really learnt the most working with Shayne and Jack.
We all have been working on a calendar to promote trans-gender awareness.
Most people don't get such an amazing opportunity, especially one that is so helpful to their career.

In class today, we watched a documentary on transgendered people in Canada (toronto).
The video was vague, the experiences of a trans-gendered individual were not clear...
the emphasis was obviously on mental health and trans people.
Stats state that the odds of a person questioning their gender is 1 in 500.
and the odds of a person deciding to become transgendered is 1 in 10000.
So after the documentary my classmates asked questions, such as "if you are transgender and fill out a document, such as taxes, what do you check off...the sex you are born as or the sex you chose?" The teacher said "the sex you feel you are."
Did I hear that right? Yes, and she is wrong.
I brought it up that you need your doctor's acknowledgement first.
I mean, can I just tick off "male" on my taxes? No.
If I dressed like a male, I still wouldnt be a male... its not as simple as some think.
but its really depressing being in a women's studies psych class and hearing the wrong answers.
It really shows how much the majority of people know on transgender issues.

Also we learnt about Nancy Chodorow's psychoanalytic theory (which seems bang-on).
This theory states that while the majority of childcare is done by females (mother role), a lot of a child's ideas about gender start within the 2 years of life.
A daughter will connect to their mother because of their similarities (they have the same sex, so the female learns that they are alike).
A Son will be taught that they (mother and son) are different. This difference is learnt and emphasized throughout a male's life. It is one of the first things they learn and they will hold onto this philosophy for much of their lives.
Females will dwell on their similarities, males on their differences.
So at the end of this lecture someone asked "if a girl is raised by a single mother does this influence the daughter to be a lesbian?"
The teacher said "absolutly".
So then I asked "isn't the socialization of gender dependant on their socialization whereas a person's sexuality is innate?"
teacher: "no, sexuality is learnt"

The question of whether sexuality is nature or nurture eludes me!
I feel that a person cannot control who they are attracted to. That their preferance goes beyond whats in their pants. I beleive that a person's attraction is based on similarities, differences, level of attractiveness, and attitude.
so once we can really get past seeing life in a gendered way we can feel free to experience attraction without worrying about questioning our sexuality.
(think about it: everywhere we go we are encouraged to pick the appropriate sex to signify who we are [mens watches vs womens watches, mens pants vs womens pants, etc])

When I think about my own sexuality, I know what I like.
I like people who challenge me, I like to learn from them and I like emulating them in a way.
I feel that every person who I have been in a close (not nessesarily sexual) relationship with I have learnt and applied a piece of their character towards my own.
This doesnt mean I copy them, rather I try to take the qualities that I admire in them and try to bring them out in myself.
but my philosophy in life is that I am who I want to be, not that I want to be someone else who I am not.

Also, the term "soul mate" I feel is silly... that and people put too much into it.
I am not 1/2 a person, I am not part of another person.
I am complete as I am, just as I am a part of everything else (a part of society, a part of humanity, etc).
So why is it that people believe that they have soul mates? Thats like saying only 1 other person exists on the same level of importance that you do.
To me, its a very selfish and closed-minded concept.
I would love to see the world through another person's eyes.
.... but thats not gonna happen. lol
However I feel that too many people decide their importance through their partner.

Anyhow, this rant must end now, I have to meet Jaydeface and go boozin'

its for you Ryan!

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 23:54:19 GMT

BUGS BUNNY!!!!!

priorities

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 19:32:52 GMT

my mom is awesome.
She got me to skip a 30 minute line up.
Then printed my essay (all 10 pages).
woo

Ty's party and beyond

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 07:34:30 GMT

I went to Ty's housewarming partay... got sooo very stoned.
Had the giggles bad.
Anywho, I now own a xbox 360 and guitar hero...but I can't really play because my giant nails make it difficult. Hell, its difficult typing.

white

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 06:20:34 GMT

I now have white hair.
go me.

pictures when I have a camera.

shakey

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 08:17:55 GMT

My sister brought me over T3s because I was in much pain.
My dad brought me coffee.
So I ate a T3 and drank the coffee.
Bad idea.
I had HORRIBLE shakes.
I felt like I was on speed... it really was bad.
Good thing I have friends to talk to in these sorts of situations.
(Thanks a bunch Val!)
Well now I know not to mix the 2 again!
yuck.

I hope it doesnt fall out

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 15:47:43 GMT

today I get to go to court AND the dentist! a day full of fun! :(

almost over

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 07:58:25 GMT

The only thing I have left to do with school this semester is study for my final on Dec 10. booyah.

Im really counting down the days until I can feel stress-free.

about time

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 07:52:06 GMT

I think I figured out what time is.
Its the one thing in life that works against you and with you depending on how you use it.
Right now its working against me, for I am suppost to be writing a journal, but am online instead.
School will be over before I can try, but I am glad I tried already.
thats what time is all about.

on another note, I spent all semester struggling to see the blackboard, yes I do wear glasses.... but I lost them for what seemed like months.
I just found them (2 pairs) now, and classes are pretty much over.
lame

boozin'

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 08:05:52 GMT

tonight much happend:
played drinking games, yah!
ninjas version 2
hooked up with Kit kat
forgot my 2 sweaters
bought damn good weed
didnt lose bullshit
3s tom! 3s!!!
wannna eat pasta cause im damn drunk
<3

spaces

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 17:54:09 GMT

In the past 2 years I have taken 27,000 photos.
Thats not counting any photos I have taken before 2006.
Holy crap eh.

fake

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 02:06:32 GMT

Tomorrow is my birthday.
How exciting.
I spent the last few weeks making dreads,
I had Tom install them a week ago.
pretty good I think, seeing as everything costed about $10.
(I don't have a steamer or a fine tooth comb...just imagine how difficult it was)

summed up

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 20:50:03 GMT

Why is it that you need to compare yourself?
your job is meaningless and you hold onto it pretending it is a jewel.
Pretending that you are getting better, that you are smarter, and above everyone else.
If life were as simple as you make it sound, then there would be no sadness, no depression,
everyone would feel intelligent without going to school.
Everyone would feel important with their meaningless jobs.
if anyone wanted to feel beautiful, all they would need to do is buy it.
Since when did spirituality become spiritless.
Don't pretend you are great with your shallow attempts to self gratification.
Being self sufficient is more than paying your own rent and bills.
You ruined your relationships, and you pointing your finger at anyone else is just an excuse for yourself.
Underneath you are so afraid of looking pathetic that you just live a lie.
I wish your friends the best.

I'm just slightly peeved at how one person can so easily manipulate themselves into writing complete shit about one of their best friends.
This person is not a friend of mine, and just seeing dishonesty written so persuasively as if god himself has updated livejournal, it makes me feel quite disturbed.
I hope none of you take this the wrong way.

Reversed

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 01:14:45 GMT

the idea was stolen from photos at school.

centigrams

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 21:17:26 GMT

Its been a fantastic day for the most part.
The weather kind sucks but otherwise I am more than pleased.
I just found out that my CPSC 1000 course is cancelled so I have an early day.
So After this post I shall be on my merry way home.
Theres so much to do at home anyway, esp financially (taxes).
But for now I would like to rant about a problem out of my hands.

Tom starts work at 9am. I start school at 11:30am
It takes me 1 hour to get to school from New West, It also takes me an hour from my home (east Van).
Last night I went to skank, I had some fun. I was just so pleased to see Phil and have a good long talk about my own life. It helps me feel like I have more options after hearing someone else's thoughts on my life.
Anyhow, I didnt stay late, I was just so tired and kinda annoyed with what Tom was saying.
SO we all left early,
It took about an hour to get to New west from Burrard @ Davie.
We left at 11:40pm, I remember because we had 20 minutes to get on a train.
So Tom and I got in at around 1am (we stopped for donuts).
its dark in his house, no lights are left on and I am trying to find his bedroom door.
Anyhow, I walked into a pile of dishes.
Why were there dishes left in the hall? well it was because they were not "clean" enough to be in the kitchen cupboards. Not even clean enough to be in the sink.
So we get in his room and find a note saying "these dishes are not clean... blah blah blah" and thats when I decide to check my email and end up passing out in my clothes.
Tom puts the dishes away and takes off my socks then gets me to bed.
We're laying there and I mention how disrespectful, and unsafe it is to leave dishes out in the hall. (just so you know his room is quite far away from the kitchen)
He decides to write a letter to his roomate who did this, stating that someone could've gotten hurt physically (hell I tripped on them trying to find his room) and that it is not a reasonable way to get someone to listen. I passed out again while he was writing the note, and well I don't know why I was so extremely tired. bleh.
So this morning Tom leaves at 8am. I am still asleep and didnt wake up when he said goodbye.
he called me at 10am making sure I was awake and then I started getting ready.
I tried to check my email again and it was still taking forever.
Then I remembered that I didnt bring my notebook with me (so I needed paper) I called him and he told me where to locate some. So Im digging through boxes looking for paper and someone knocks on the door.
The door was slightly ajar yet this person knocks. which I am quite happy that he didnt just walk in.
But the way he knocked, which sounded more like violent banging really freaked me out.
I didnt expect anyone was home or to be looking for Tom (he does work the same time everyday afterall). This individual yells through the door "Tom, I need to talk to you NOW!". This guy named Devon, is dating Zara. Zara happens to be the person who is responsible for the house, her uncle owns it and is letting her rent rooms out to her friends, it is a very nice house and is a good deal. The note that Tom wrote to Zara (she was the one who left dishes in front of his door.... I assume since she signed the note) was supposidly polite yet straightforward that he doesnt want to be treated with such disrespect and that he would like to talk to her.
I replied to Devon, stating "Tom left for work.". Devon yells back "you are not allowed to be here if Tom isn't here, You are not allowed to come over until I speak to Tom.". Nice, well hes obviously extremely angry over the letter, but I dont need to be yelled at. I had no idea that I was not allowed to be over while Tom was out, I dont even think that Tom knew. However he could have asked me to leave in a nicer mannar. I do understand if he/they feel uncomfortable that I am at Tom's house while Tom is at work, but I do not understand why he would yell at me. I understand English and I am a human, even if he were screaming at me in chinese I would feel disrespected as I do now. Whether I understand or not I am a human and deserve the same respect.
I reply "alright, I was leaving anyway for school" (the time is 10:30am) I was perfectly calm and didnt raise my voice. He then snaps back at me "I dont care just GET OUT!" I reply "you dont need to be rude" and he walks away. At this time I call Tom, I dont want to do what I would normally do (tell Devon that I am not Tom, and that whatever he feels for Tom he shouldnt feel for me. That he shouldnt yell to get his point accross and how it makes problems worse than they are also that I dont want to be dragged into Tom's problems at home) because I dont want to make things worse for Tom. So I call him, and ask him what the notebook looks like, and I find it, then start putting on my boots while Im talking to Tom.
At this point I am extremely shocked and insulted. After I had my first boot done up, Devon yells to me "I dont hear you leaving" and I yell back "I'm putting on my boots I can't go any faster" he replies "I know I could do better than that" to which I reply "then come over here and help me". I get my other boot on, grab the key and leave. I yell "Bye guys!" back to them because I know that they dont hate me and that I'm not going to get myself emotionally stirred over it. Yet here I am, still wary over this. Devon yells back "have a good day" and I really wasnt sure whether to take it as sarcasm, or that he was actually being sincere.
So I talk to Tom, my whole way to school. I was/am pissed off that someone whom I hardly know at all (I might've spoken to him twice before) was treating me so poorly. Not only that, but he is not incharge of the household. His girlfriend is. and this is not any of my business, but I find it so immature that they would harrass Tom so much. They already asked him to move out at the end of march, and yet they are still being controlling. And I shouldnt say "they" because its really Devon who is the active antagonist. If he is leaving anyway, then why make his life a living hell? Just suck it up for a few weeks and OMG Tom is gone!! fuck. I hate people sometimes.

wedding p2

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 09:51:56 GMT

I also decided that if I ever have a wedding, all we're gonna listen to is Caustic.
Thats right.
esp during the honeymoon.... caustic.