I know I keep saying that honesty is important. Although its good to know when to keep silent.
However, I find that people are generally too nice to each other.
It sounds good from the outside, living in a "nice" society...
Yet we can't improve if things are sugar coated and set up to accommodate.

For example:
Today in class we had to do a peer-edit of our essays.
This means we have to swap papers and have somebody else check for mistakes and quality.
I really enjoy this task as it helps me better understand what my peers are writing about and I like editing writing... I LOVE reading other people's writing.
So this one guy totally did everything wrong. Bad sentence structure, horrid grammar, and he put his thesis at the END (which is a big no-no in post secondary, nobody wants to guess what you're writing about). My god, it was a disaster, and really fun!
Anywho, I get my essay back (it was edited by 2 people) and there is literally NO corrections or suggestions. No grammar errors noted (except that I started a sentence with "because", which IS allowable - but nobody really knows that its ok [high-school teaches EVERYTHING WRONG]), there was no spelling errors, no inconsistencies - nothing!
Now, if I am to improve my writing I don't need to hear things like "very consistent" or "good thesis"; I want my paper ripped into and torn apart - sentence by sentence. Yet everybody is too nice to say anything bad.
This isn't the first time either.
The whole philosophy behind being honest to help one another ONLY works if we let go of that stupid saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". Fuck that.
Un-nice things must be said if any of us wants to improve.
Good thing I re-edited my own essay because I found 3 errors: an inconsistancy with a quote, a spelling mistake, and a source not cited.

You know its fucking hot out when you go to buy a chocolate bar from the vending machine inside your air-conditioned school only to find that the chocolate bar is melted. I demand a refund!

You know what I hate about eating mini wheats, its that the second you put milk in the bowl its a race against time.
Otherwise, you end up with a bowl of soggy mush.

I hate speed eating but I love mini wheats.
damn!

It was said in my Philosophy and feminist thought course last night that women should write themselves into existence.
Also, considering the difference between liberal reform and change from within makes me rethink my situation.
I've been seeing the world through a feminist perspective.
Sometimes, I step on toes - I make women think about what they don't want to.
I disprove those with faulty patriarchal ideals (all you guys who think feminists are hairy lesbians - think again).
But I haven't given myself credit that this what I should be doing.
I figured I was just being a know-it-all kind of bitch rather than someone who is changing inside.
Its not just that, its also being able to speak up and let people know what I think.
So writing myself into existence seems to be a reality.
I suppose an amateur 3rd wave diy feminist like me has nowhere else to go.
Expect more bitchy posts in the future.

Oh, And I also took some nice photos this week. winter fall is amazing.

( a few more photos )

We've all been given the advice that we need to stop rape, right?
Things like avoiding walking alone at night, avoiding poorly-lit areas, being told to carry mace around, and to avoid wearing anything that can be used to physically pull one away (ponytails, purses, bags, etc).
Never did it occur to me that this isn't the right way to stop rape.
In fact, the wrong audience is being held responsible for something that is out of their control.
Men should stop rape. Really.
I have one piece of advice for all men, something that can stop rape:
Keep your dick in your pants.

I don't mean to sound absolutely pessimistic about this.
But to put blame on a victim seems pretty wrong.

Its amazing how popular culture is now encorporating pornography in mainstream culture.
Like I said before, porn isn't quite what we think it is. Porn is not mere fantasy, its an idea laced in sexual desires, an idea that limits and damages people. Men and Women.

Gloria Steinem, a feminist icon, describes the difference between pornography and erotica: "Pornography is about dominance. Erotica is about mutuality. Pornography is the instruction. Rape is the practice, battered women are the practice, and battered children are the practice."

I'm not saying that pornography specifically causes violence against women, its not that simple. Pornography is laced with patriarchal dominance, it breeds "normality" and gives a very one-sided view of sex. However, pornography - in excess - has been corrolated with rape.

Canadian author Margaret Atwood graphically describes her views of Pornography:

[T]hen did it strike me that the male journalist and I had two entirely different things in mind. By "pornography," he meant naked bodies and sex. I, on the other hand, had recently been doing the research for my novel Bodily Harm, and was still in a state of shock from some of the material I had seen, including the Ontario Board of Film Censors' "outtakes." By "pornography," I meant women getting their nipples snipped off with garden shears, having meat hooks stuck into their vaginas, being disemboweled, little girls being raped; men (yes, there are some men) being smashed to a pulp and forcibly sodomized. The cutting edge of pornography, as far as I could see, was no longer simple old copulation, hanging from the chandelier or otherwise: it was death, messy, explicit and highly sadistic. I explained this to the nice Scandinavian men. "Oh, but thats just the United States," they said. "Everyone knows they're sick." In their country, they said, violent "pornography" of that kind was not permitted on television or in movies; indeed, excessive violence of any kind was not permitted. They had drawn a clean line between erotica, which earlier studies had shown did not incite men to a more aggressive and brutal behavior toward women, and violence, which later studies indicated did.

And for a tidbit of information regarding the word origin of pornography.
Porno comes from the greek word Porni which means lowest form of female slavery & prostitution.
Graphy means graphic.
Hmm... that explains a lot.

According to a study by Mary Koss and Cheryl Oros (1982:456) "One in five men in a representative survey of 3862 US university students recalled 'being in a situation in which they became so aroused that they could not stop themselves from having sexual intercourse even though the woman didn't want to.'" (Feminist Issues 131)

Jessica Valenti, a women's rights activist, describes rape as being something that the average man would commit, without realizing its an act of violence against women. "Its what scares me the most about rapists - they're otherwise regular guys, some of whom don't understand that what they've done is wrong, others of whom don't care. Young men in [North America] have been brought up to think they have open access to women's bodies and sexuality. Everything in American culture tells men that women are there for them, there for sex, constantly available. It breeds a society where rape is expected and practically okayed" (Full Frontal Feminism 62)

Now, enough of my feminist quotes to prove my point. Heres a video that describes the impact of over exposed female sexuality in music videos.

<3

I had a wonderful day today.

...wonderful!

I forgot it was my birthday... and was worried.
but now that I know its my bday I'm pleased.
too bad I'm cranky and hungover.
:D

Last night after I watched a south park episode on wal-mart, Tom and I did some reading into anti-union corporations (mcdonalds, walmart, starbucks etc).
Its really shocking what some companies will do to deter unionization.
( My experiences with McJobs )
On another note, today I'm going back to East Van.
I'm quite excited.
East Van = Bons, photoadventures, Iron workers memorial bridge, and being able to go out late at night.
It has been too long for me.
Hopefully sometime in the future I can move back to Vancouver, I feel like I'm throwing away so many career opportunities living so far from the downtown core.
(that and I have a friend who works at a women's centre who said I should volunteer there with her [shes also a WSGR major])
I wish there were some real career opportunities HERE.

If you didn't know, I have been taking women's studies/gender relations at douglas.
this program has given me a new perspective on society, on my identity, on my philosphy on life.
It has been an eye opening experience.
However, I've really learnt the most working with Shayne and Jack.
We all have been working on a calendar to promote trans-gender awareness.
Most people don't get such an amazing opportunity, especially one that is so helpful to their career.

In class today, we watched a documentary on transgendered people in Canada (toronto).
The video was vague, the experiences of a trans-gendered individual were not clear...
the emphasis was obviously on mental health and trans people.
Stats state that the odds of a person questioning their gender is 1 in 500.
and the odds of a person deciding to become transgendered is 1 in 10000.
So after the documentary my classmates asked questions, such as "if you are transgender and fill out a document, such as taxes, what do you check off...the sex you are born as or the sex you chose?" The teacher said "the sex you feel you are."
Did I hear that right? Yes, and she is wrong.
I brought it up that you need your doctor's acknowledgement first.
I mean, can I just tick off "male" on my taxes? No.
If I dressed like a male, I still wouldnt be a male... its not as simple as some think.
but its really depressing being in a women's studies psych class and hearing the wrong answers.
It really shows how much the majority of people know on transgender issues.

Also we learnt about Nancy Chodorow's psychoanalytic theory (which seems bang-on).
This theory states that while the majority of childcare is done by females (mother role), a lot of a child's ideas about gender start within the 2 years of life.
A daughter will connect to their mother because of their similarities (they have the same sex, so the female learns that they are alike).
A Son will be taught that they (mother and son) are different. This difference is learnt and emphasized throughout a male's life. It is one of the first things they learn and they will hold onto this philosophy for much of their lives.
Females will dwell on their similarities, males on their differences.
So at the end of this lecture someone asked "if a girl is raised by a single mother does this influence the daughter to be a lesbian?"
The teacher said "absolutly".
So then I asked "isn't the socialization of gender dependant on their socialization whereas a person's sexuality is innate?"
teacher: "no, sexuality is learnt"

The question of whether sexuality is nature or nurture eludes me!
I feel that a person cannot control who they are attracted to. That their preferance goes beyond whats in their pants. I beleive that a person's attraction is based on similarities, differences, level of attractiveness, and attitude.
so once we can really get past seeing life in a gendered way we can feel free to experience attraction without worrying about questioning our sexuality.
(think about it: everywhere we go we are encouraged to pick the appropriate sex to signify who we are [mens watches vs womens watches, mens pants vs womens pants, etc])

When I think about my own sexuality, I know what I like.
I like people who challenge me, I like to learn from them and I like emulating them in a way.
I feel that every person who I have been in a close (not nessesarily sexual) relationship with I have learnt and applied a piece of their character towards my own.
This doesnt mean I copy them, rather I try to take the qualities that I admire in them and try to bring them out in myself.
but my philosophy in life is that I am who I want to be, not that I want to be someone else who I am not.

Also, the term "soul mate" I feel is silly... that and people put too much into it.
I am not 1/2 a person, I am not part of another person.
I am complete as I am, just as I am a part of everything else (a part of society, a part of humanity, etc).
So why is it that people believe that they have soul mates? Thats like saying only 1 other person exists on the same level of importance that you do.
To me, its a very selfish and closed-minded concept.
I would love to see the world through another person's eyes.
.... but thats not gonna happen. lol
However I feel that too many people decide their importance through their partner.

Anyhow, this rant must end now, I have to meet Jaydeface and go boozin'